I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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