Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
