between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
