im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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