You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize