I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
