If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
