One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
