you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
porn star boner night. come get it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
