IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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