They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
