i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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