Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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