I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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