everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize