I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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