Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am available for nakedness
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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