she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize