i jhust puked up my retainher.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
