There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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