the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
