I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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