I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
