Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Small penises have feelings too.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
