I am spending my child support on dildos
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
