Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
