We're like a lot better than the average bears
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
