the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
