Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
