I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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