if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
