the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
