you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
