im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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