im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
