in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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