also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
