party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
