You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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