Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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