Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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