I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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