so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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