Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
