lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
