how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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