no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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