clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The uberlube is also flammable
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
