So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
