Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
