plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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