dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
