My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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