got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
