I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
