Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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