I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
