My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
