okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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