I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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