so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize