Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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