Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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