I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize