I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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