i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
