I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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